Procrastinators Meeting....Tomorrow

Do any of you know the definition of procrastinate?

pro·cras·ti·nate [proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-] verb,

pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing. verb (used without object) 1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost. verb (used with object) 2. to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.

Plain and simple:  that sums up my activity for the last week.  I've worked out some. Not all of it.  Not the strength conditioning. Excuses? Yeah, sure, I've got 'em and they do no good.

Overwhelmed by the challenge put before me.  I somewhat feel defeated before I even start.  Disappointed that I didn't do things the way I had pictured I'd do them. 

Up and down, up and down,  I'm stoked, then I'm nervous.  I'm thankful, then I'm fearful of nothing changing.  I feel good about changes and things that I notice I've learned, then I am taken over by emotions that I don't want 45 to be the end of my life, I want it to be the middle. The idea was to put it all out on paper (blog) for all to read/see.

So many different emotions and thoughts so far thoughout this journey that sometimes I do not know what to write in the blog, therefore... I don't. But I know that was not part of my agreement with my coach.  That was not my hand-shake.  My hand-shake is worth more to me than that.

A couple of key videos that I've received in the last couple of days have really helped me drive my focus: Taking fear and turning it into gratitude. Then the other is: Stopping Procrastination.

Thank you to everyone for the support.  For my youngest brother throwing us some cash to help out with food.  My friends that helped us secure a dinner table (which has helped so much already!), thanks to my friends and family for putting up the money for us to get a family pass to the rec center.  Thank you to the people closest to me right now, complimenting me on my appearance and my blog.

But this one thing that is sticking with me right now is: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

Wow. The first 90 days is when you see the biggest difference in fat loss, as well, the first year.  I better re-think my plans. This is a great opportunity in front of me, to better myself for the over all being of my family.  This is the example that I am showing my children and wife.

I have not lost all inspiration, but I can tell you that for the last few days I have not been focused and I notice a difference.

Why not do something about it now? Not tomorrow.

40 Day Challenge

The decision has been made on whether or not I will be starting the 28 day challenge over.  I am now presented, as well as 2 days deep into the new 40 day challenge.  It couldn't have come at a better time, either.  I have been lacking motivation.  Period.  I am on track for working out, but I have not been doing my trackers.  My water intake has been sub-par and my strength conditioning has not been continuous.  It's weird, some days, I just do it.  Then on other days, it feels like if I don't do them right away, they get put off until the noon time area of the day.

So I've been feeling down on myself, having pitty parties.  History tells me that them things are usually dull and no action.  Plus, it seems as if you're ever only the lone individual invited.  I've been thinking a lot about my fears as well a lot about my goals.  I am not going to placate myself with excuses.  I know I have to be better.  I know I can be better.

I made it to the gym last night.  Thanks to whoever provided the membership (I'm hearing conflicting stories), but last night would have easily been a night where I could have used the excuse of us not having money for the $3.50 admittance.  But, we have the membership now.  As well, I was lacking motivation yesterday too. What gives?!  Katie would not let me sit around though.  She asked how I was feeling and if I had an idea of where the lack of motivation was stemming from.  Although I didn't answer much, I had an opportunity to.  Then after giving me a minute to state my challenge of feeling motivated, she was like... "OK.  Well that's nice.  Go work out."  She is right.  I'd feel better after.  You know what?  I did.  I even found out a couple things about my workouts too.

Lately, I've been getting bored with the treadmill. I've been getting bored with our foods.  So last night, although it's a fear, I put some time in on the treadmill, but not all my workout. I found other things I wanted to try, like I've seen people doing in the background of Coach's emailed videos.  I picked up some dumbells, I hit a couple of weight lifting machines, back and forth.  My heart rate was all over the place.  But at least I found a couple things that I can do to keep the heart rate in my desired Cowboy Fit Zone.  When I was done with my experiment, I went out to the desk, got a basketball.  Went to the gymnasium.  I didn't care where, but I just shot some hoops for 2-3 minutes, getting a little irritated.  Simply b/c I used to hit these shots. I've lifted and shot immediately after, before in my life, but it never looked this bad. So, I figured that I was not going to get satisfaction there.  So I started dribbling around (mostly lefty).  You know what? I liked it.  I moved around fast enough that I was in the heart rate zone I needed to be in.  Plus, I jogged, not sprinted, one "suicide."  That really got my heart rate up.

The reason this is important, is b/c I feel like getting bored is making me not want to work out.  One of my goals is to enjoy fitness.  I enjoy basketball.  So why not incorporate it into my exercise.  Plus, I don't have my 2 younger brothers around to block all of my shots.  Plus, if nobody is there, I get to exaggerate how many shots actually went in!!!  There's a plus.  Anyhow, I'd like to bring it all together for ya'll.

The 40 day challenge:
Work out in the Cowboy Fit Zone as follows...
1 min at the tippy top of the heart rate zone, then crash it
1 min at the bottom of your zone.
Follow the next 10 minutes in the middle.
Then repeat.  You do that 4x folks, then you've got yourself a 48 minute workout.

As well, in the a.m., and then again in the p.m. before bedtime:
40 push ups
40 squats
40 sit ups/crunches

So, I've been working out, but this is the part I've been struggling with.  I must conquer this.

I did get some inspiration tonight watching the Coach's video. This gal had changed NOTHING in her diet.  She did the 28 day challenge and lost almost 15 inches!  4 inches in her belly area alone.  So, the coach followed her around during her workout, giving examples of her monitoring her heart rate.  There were times where if I were her, nor if I didn't have my heart rate monitor watch on, you could tell she could've easily kept going, with her energy.  But importantly, she wanted to stay in her zone.  So she'd lay on the ground, to crash her heart rate.  Once in her zone, she'd get back up and start moving again.  Anyone can do this system.

For me, it's just keeping it all together and not choosing the areas only I want.  It's everything.  The eating, the breathing, the water, the journals and logs and strength conditioning.  Everything.  Tomorrow is workout day and I'm looking forward to the challenge of not letting myself down.  I know I'm better then where I was on March 8th, 2013.  I know I'm not where I want to be.  But I do know that this is part of the journey.

BLESSED

Thank you to everyone for reading and keeping up with this blog.  It has been something completely new to me.  This is probably the toughest blog for me to post thus far.  The other day we were fortunate enough that a couple of friends donated some of their hard earned money for us to buy a used table out of the online classifieds. The hunt is on.

However, this weekend, a buddy of mine come down from Montana to visit, as his fiance had some stuff to run around for. They attended one of her friend's weddings, then she either had a baby shower, or a bridal shower to attend, in which freed him up to hang out with us and another buddy of mine that lives north of us about 30 miles.  Since we'd recently decided to get a newer rig, he wanted to check it out and find something to bust my chops over. He gets in, lifts up the center console, checks other things out.  Then we parted ways, him going to meet up with her.  Katie and I heading home with the kiddos in tow.

I can see him. Driving in front of me.  He then calls me on the cell, "What's in your center console?"

Immediately, I have Katie check in there!!!  I ask her to look for something that he would've taken. Wallet. Garage door opener.  Knife.  Utility tool.  Something that he'd think was hilarious for him to have, that I needed.  A prank.  You know?  Finally, he gives in and says, "I didn't take anything, jerk.  Look for something different that wasn't in there to begin with.  Perhaps 2 plastic cards?"

Bingo!  Katie pulls up 2 plastic cards with barcodes on them that you attach to your key ring. One reads "Katie" the other reads "Nick" and on the front they read "SL County Parks & Rec" which means that they were 2 memberships to the rec center we've been scrounging up pocket change for me to go to.  Yeah baby!!!!

Katie has been doing videos and we agreed to only spend money on me going to the gym.  I felt selfish doing it, leaving the kids with Katie.  I always wanted her to go, as well.  But we've just not been able to get a string of weeks together where we can save money. Always playing catch up.  I'm sure we're not the only ones that has been in this type of situation.

But geez!  Are you kidding me?  Turns out, both of my brothers were in on it.  My sister in law has been asking both Katie and me questions about the rec center, so I know she is in on it.  I asked my buddy if he knew who was in on it, he said that my brother & his wife were the ones tha set it all up.  I texted my brother and asked who all was involved.  His response? "Not sure exactly."  In the words of Dr. Evil in Austin Powers, "rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhtt."

But still, regardless of who was in on it, or who paid more, or who didn't pay. Even if you're just along for the ride, reading the blogs (3700 views?!)... Please accept my humble gratitude. It is very kind and generous of all of all ya'll.

So, now I must decide to do the 28 day challenge over, or begin the new one that Coach emailed me, called the 8 week challenge.  What to do?

If nothing else, I am giving it my effort, right?  Now, we can hopefully save our pocket change for the kids' piggy bank. :)  Hoping to learn some new things, besideds the treadmill, for staying in my Cowboy Fit Zone.

3 Days Left of First Challenge

Well, my sister-in-law (Katie's sister) is going to Ireland for 10 days.  Tonight, we were invited to dinner, for a little fair-well kind of thing.  It was really fun.  My brother-in-law works long hours and a lot of them, as a nurse, so for them to have time out for a dinner.. for us to get the invite, we took them up on the offer.  For me, it was more of a challenge.  Turned out great!

Typically, in the past, I felt like I had to get my money's-worth.  We'd hit a buffet or something along those lines.  If not a buffet, we'd hit someplace where we sat down since I am not too keen on the fast food scene. $70 would fly out the window in a hurry and usually I'd have my dinner and half of Katie's since she gets full so quickly.  But not tonight.  I was cautious that it was regular pasta, so I watched my portions.  No bread-sticks for me since it was a late dinner, thanks to the wait.  Of course, diet soda (over a month of no regular soda now).  Plus, we did a deal where you buy one and get an extra to take home.  Well, I have to tell you, on our way home, I had a big smile.  I actually asked my wife if she was proud of me.  I asked if she noticed how much dinner I had left on my plate still.  We did it!  We went to an establishment where I would've normally gorged myself.  Leaving no room for dessert, as they always ask.  We went, I ate, not as healthy as I'd like, but based on where I was, to where I am, I'll take it!  I'll take it over and over.  We're doing it with every day food.  I'm not strictly eating fish and certain veggies, or certain proteins over others.  I use what we have.  I watch the calories and what time of day I'm putting carbs into my body as well as my sugar intake.

It is so weird because I feel like I'm constantly eating. It almost makes me laugh.  But tonight, it could have been that I was in conversation with family, this and that, involved with the kiddos too, cracking jokes, etc... But I didn't feel like I was depriving myself.  I honestly felt like I had enough to eat.  I felt comfortable with the amount I ate, even the fact that I know there was sugar in there.  I was able to roughly calculate everything that I ate in the day to estimate that I could take a little more sugar.  Now, doing this once a week is not my plan.  I certainly do not want the first option for any celebrating, to do with food.  But you know what?  Sometimes you're invited places.  Sometimes you're going to celebrate or go to a fair-well.  It's part of life.  But you can't let it take over your life.  Otherwise, as my newest friend stated it, you're going to create your own nightmare.

So, in my title of this blog: 3 Days.  This marks the end of when I said I was starting my 28 day challenge.  In 3 days, starting tomorrow and ending on Monday, I will be done with that challenge.  I will not be done with my transformation. By a long shot.  I will take my measurements and post them.  They will be what they are.

I'm not going to beat myself up, but I know that I could do better.  As I stated a couple of days ago.  I'm challenging myself again to do another 28 days!  I love it.  I feel good about that decision.  I do feel like I could do better.  Tomorrow is work out day.  I will do as many push ups, squats and crunches as I can in the a.m. as well at the p.m.  If I get to 30 each time, then so be it.  If I push until muscle fatigue, but fall short of 30, it does not matter.  I know I am getting stronger.  I feel a little nervous about the workout though.  I've got a little nagging in my left side of my back.  I feel like I'm over-compensating for the little stumble I took on the ancient dinosaur treadmill at work yesterday. No rubber burns from the belt, but a little bit of a hyper-extended knee.  You may think, no big deal.  But if you weigh 180 lbs, I'd welcome you, any day, to put on a back pack of another 280 lbs to get you up to 460 lbs and then try and hyper-extend your knee.

But, we'll go out and be active and put in the effort.  We'll take action.  I understand there are some things that my weight and size are going to limit me on, since I'm still re-introducing my body to working out.  But when it comes to some things, I'm a littler perfectionist.  I like to make a certain number of free-throws.  I like a little bit of routine to working out.  There are some things I just like in order.  I know there are a bunch of things in life that don't happen the way you want them.  Heck, we all learn that lesson (hopefully), that it's not always how you want it.  I don't like the nagging in my back, nor the sore knee.  But it's there and I gotta deal with it.  I just can't sit her and do nothing though.  I've done that before.  Honestly, I've done it for a couple days during this 28 day challenge.  But I can't let history repeat itself.  I know I can do better.  I can't change them 2-3 days.  But I have tomorrow.  As well, I'll take our awesome dinner out with family and a challenge conquered as another stone to add to the foundation.

I do have to give a big BIG shout out and a couple words of gratitude to some old friends.  A couple of ladies from my early 20's reached out to me and said they'd like to give a gift, as a show of support along the journey.  They mailed me and my family a money order to go "shopping" online for a dinner table.  Yay!  If you ask me, online classifieds have a WAY bigger selection than any home furnishing store.  Plus I'd like a table with some character.  So, THANK YOU VERY MUCH Ang (Angela) and Danny (Danielle).  I am blessed because of your big hearts.  I hope to find the perfect table.  I know that Katie and I are wanting this journey to change a few things to benefit our children.  Eating at a dinner table, building structure and relationships with our kiddos is something we are both passionate about.  So, I will send the both of you pics when we get one.  We are in no position to turn down an offer like this.  Plus, since we've last seen each other, I've been humbled a couple of time.  We really do appreciate your kindness.  We could all learn something from your un-selfishness.

Good night everyone! 3 more days!!!!!

To Get or Not to Get a Membership?

Holy cow!  3,350 views!  That is pretty incredible.  I wonder how many of them are new viewers?  Sometimes I feel like I couldn't possibly be that interesting!  But, somehow, all them views added up in a hurry.  Could it be that when I complete my blog I hurry and log into my Facebook and tell everyone to go read it? :)  Maybe people are sharing it?  Possibly they are finding my blog on my profile of Coach's website for the Lose 12 Inches with any 12 workouts.  I suppose it could be about anything.  I like to get on here and track where the views come from.  Germany, Philippines, all over.  It's cool.  Thank you everyone!!!  Keep on reading or sharing or whatever the reason is that you keep coming back for more.

So, yesterday was the day for working out.  I've basically just used walking outside, or a treadmill, recently.  When I'm in a bind, I'll stay home and use a video.  Watching the emails that Coach sends me, he is usually in his gym and I see people in the background doing all sorts of stuff.  They are just doing whatever they can to stay in their target heart rate zone. The Cowboy Fit Zone. Lifting dumbbells rapidly, jumping jacks, lifting other weights, etc... I'd like to get to that point.  But right now, I don't know if trust is the correct word, I just feel like I more consistent with my Cowboy Fit Zone if I'm walking or on a treadmill.  Back to yesterday.  We got home at a decent hour.  I was not really motivated to working out.  I figured that I had the rest of the week to workout 3x.  As long as I got in 3 workouts by Sunday, I was good.  Even if I worked out every-other day from Tuesday-Sunday, it would be ok.

But again, Katie was like, "No.  I'll stay with the kids and you go workout."  My fear was that if I used the debit card to pay the $3.50 for the daily use fee at the closest recreation center, it would be possible to over-draw in our checking account. So, we pulled out her purse and cleaned the change out of the car.  Scrounged up $3.50 in quarters, dimes and nickels and I drove over dressed to kill it.  I did.  I got a full warm up in (if you don't know, minimum would be 5 min and a max of 12 min, below your target heart rate).  Get your blood flowing, loosen up your muscles.  Then I worked out by walking on the treadmill, picking and Interval program.  Up and down, up and down.  I usually walk 3.0 incline and 3.0 speed.  I wanted to maximize the time.  I pushed myself a little harder to work up a sweat, and try to control the amount of time in my Cowboy Fit Zone.  I immediately started at 3.5 incline and 3.1 speed.  Then after 10 min I pushed it to 4.0 incline.  10 more minutes, I pushed it to 4.5.  I kept it there for 20 minutes, then pushed to 5.0 for the last 5 minutes.  I was sweating good.  Stepping outside into the cooler air felt so good.  I felt accomplished.  For the first time in a long time, I felt proud that I pushed myself.

But I will tell you what I told Coach.  I feel like this last 28 days has been a whirlwind, between trying to figure out exercises, workouts, water, food, etc... As you all know from one or two of my previous posts, we've had some distractions.  We've had to work out when we can.  Some times that means working out last minute.  Some days, the emails I got from the coach would not pull up.  But, I feel like it would be beneficial to have a pass to the rec center for Katie and I.  I feel like we could either go before work, or after work.  Do it together.  That way it's not leaving either one of us to be the parent.  We can be the parent, because I feel like we're a good mom and dad together or alone with the kiddos.  But, still, working out together, that would be something new for us.  I think it would make it easier to enjoy.  Heck, I'll show off for my baby any day.  It would probably make me work harder!  Although, I can tell Coach just rolled his eyes and is saying in his head (or out loud, knowing his energy), "Work out smarter.  Not harder Nick!" :)

I am pleased with my effort during this challenge.  I will post ending measurements soon.  But they will not be "ending" measurements as much as they will be beginning measurements for the challenge that I'm putting on myself to do the 28 day challenge the way that I want. I'll follow the emails and homework, possibly buy some of the foods Coach has suggested.  Start integrating them into preperation.  But, like I stated, I feel I've retained more and more over the days.  I've learned a couple things. I'd like to apply them now.  I want to give it a very serious go.  I'd like to have just a month (28 days) to do it the way it's designed.  I want to say, "I DID IT!"  My family and I have accomplished so much already.  Maybe I'm seeking satisfaction in the wrong area.  I've already lost inches, which I think it awesome.  But I just feel like I can do more.

So everybody say it with me: WOOHOO!! That's what I'm talking about!

"Nothing worth having was ever acheived without effort" -I don't rembmer who that is from.
But it's true.  For everyone.

I remember reading an excerpt from one of the books about Michael Jordan and his journey to multiple championships.  It was him talking about a chat he had with Phil Jackson about what MJ wanted to acheive.  He was still younger.  Not deep into his career.  But not a rookie, either.  His desire?  He wanted to be great.  He wanted to be a lengend.  I can't quote exactly what I read, but it can be compared to this:  "I expected to be great because I was already great.  But the level I wanted, I wasn't there yet.  I expected it for so long because we'd already had such great successes. But when I talked to Phil, I realized that I wasn't where I wanted to be, simply because I was taking short-cuts. Less time in the weight room.  Less effort during sprints.  Etc... If I want to achieve and be part of that next level, I know that short-cuts will not get me where I want to be."  Again, don't quote me. But this has been in my brain, shuffled around, for the last 15+ years.  But I remember reading it.

We all know that we can't judge an athlete's greatness as to what kind of person they are.  They could be not loyal to their spouses, alcoholics, sex addicts, aquitted rapists, etc... The list goes on.  We don't know what they battle in their lives.  But as someone who is trying to change things in my life, regarding healthy food choices and exercise, I find this awesome.  Matter of fact, the quote that I've opened up with, is stenciled on the wall of the fitness room, here at work.  You know the place.  I've spoken of it before.  The one with the dinosaur of a treadmill?  Yeah, no place to hold your water, or your mp3/phone/electronic device.  Also, the one that acts like a vehicle with a cruise"sometimes"control.  Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down. 

Just heard from one of my younger brothers that still lives in Montucky, that he has spent some time with our aunt and uncle.  They stepped in quite a bit, along with some others on my mother's side of the family, one both of our parents were deceased.  But, both of them are obese. He says they look great!  That is huge.  A lot of people in my family are stubborn.  :)  If you will... a family trend. Not always a good thing. But it is what it is.  We all love each other, and I love my aunt and uncle. 

Turns out they went and saw a specialist about thier weight.  As a married couple.  Believe me, I know how stress effects your eating, skipping meals, not caring, not thinking, etc... Money effects all of that as well.  Heck, I know that my siblings and I probalby caused a bunch of that stress and things were not all honky-dory all of the time.  But the fact that they went in, seeked answers/help and realized they wanted different, that is awesome!  Checked out their body fat percentage.  Sounds like they set goals as well.  My brother says he noticed a difference in them.  I'll take it.  I hope they are feeling better.  I hope they are proud of themselves.  I'm proud of them.

So, put it all together, if you want change, take action. It doesn't matter who you are.  Whether you're Michael Jordan, Ryan Cowboy Ehmann the Coach, Nick, or an average couple from Montana, go get what you want.

Also this week, after a long week of cravings, hard workouts, doubt and health issues, I'm looking forward to change this next week.  A big week at that.  A minor surgery for our 10 month old little girl, which required us to move some things around on our schedule for work, as well, put into perspective what we're going to do about supporting each other to keep doing the strength conditioning daily and workouts at least 3x per week.  Plan ahead for food.  A big week!  Prepared some chicken to be able to take and go.

But I have to say it is stressful for groceries right now.  It feels like we're buying the same stuff over and over.  Plus, we're scraping the bottom of the barrell for our food.  Using stuff that we've had for a few months, which is good.  But I'm excited to get to a point to try some of the foods that Coach emailed me.  I'd love to see how 30 days would go, doing this.  But I'll take what I can get.  If I can see a differnce in foods that we eat every day... that is a phenominal improvement, for anyone.  Sugar is a huge thing.  It'll sneak up on you.  So, I can tell all of you that I have not had a regular soda since the beginning of this journey.  I can tell you that I have not skipped a meal since the beginning of this journey, but I have skipped a snack or two.  I can tell you that I've done my strength conditioning nearly every day, since I did not understand in the beginning. 

My wife also said something very important to me last night.  I had a treat.  I am not even a sweets guy. I am a sweet guy, yes, but not a sweets guy.  Cookies, sugary sweets, etc... not my bag.  I have stuff I like, but would prefer savory.  But, realizing that you should not rewards yourself wholely, with food.  How many people do that?  If you decide to have a snack, or something sweet, keep portions in mind.  You may like Doritos, for instance.  Yeah, have a few to curb your cravings and keep them few and far between.  Now, having a whole back once every couple of weeks, thinking, "It's not every other day, so every 2 weeks must be acceptable...", probably not a good idea.

This is just for me to put it out there, as if I'm talking to myself.  But, welcome to my mindset right now.  Sometimes I feel like it's a web browser wtih 46 tabs open. 

Great Job to my aunt and uncle!  Here's to moving forward onto a new week.  Piecing it all together.

Hard Day

I'm not looking for sympathy.  I am just putting this out there because I said from the beginning of my blog, I'd share my struggles and successes.  Today was a struggle.  I'm over it now, but it has to be said.

I know for a fact that I did not get my calories.  I can recall what I ate, it was all planned.  But for some reason today, I felt like I wanted to go eat.  A lot.  It didn't matter where.  I just wanted to eat.  I didn't go eat, upon this urge.  But the entire day and on into the time we got home, I had felt like I was starving.  So I used some sugar free gum and drank some purple.

But, when I think about it. It makes me think back in day, I'd go eat whenever, wherever I wanted.  A couple of places came to mind today.  I would have probably eaten enough for a few people and exceeded my calories.  But, it helped me (easier to process, now that I feel like I've over it today), it helped me to realize that them bad choices, among others, are what created the situation I'm in now.  Having to work (I don't mind hard work), to try and learn as much as I can and maximize this time that I have with Coach.

I do not like that it disrupted my usual demeanor though.  My wife noticed it.  I don't like that it had that affect on me at all.  I was still a dad.  I helped get the kiddos ready for bed.  Late day again from work, so there was little time to spend with them.  But we decided that we weren't going to do laundry, or watch TV, or social media, or games.  We decided we were going to talk about it.  Check in with each other.  Process.

Today was hard.  But it is nice to look back at how hungry I was all day long and I didn't skip any meals nor did I binge, nor did I spend money on impulsive decisions.  Although it was very tough and I realize that I have a long way to go with nutrition and knowing what snacks I can have during the night and still stay on track, I am very satisfied.

Again, my wife, my rock!!!  I want this change for us, no me.

Short and sweet tonight.  Off to do some strength conditioning, girly push-up style. Good night ya'll.

Heart Rating

Why the title?  I'll tell you.  Tonight, after watching my wife say she was only going to do 2 miles, then busted out 3 because she wanted to complete her goal (tough act to follow!), it was then my turn to work out in the Cowboy Fit Zone.  My zone for maximum fat burning right now is 142bpm-163bpm.  I usually stay around 145-155 on a treadmill.

I'm not sure if it was the heart rate monitor strap sliding around or if my heart didn't feel the need to beat any faster, but I couldn't seem to get up into the zone.  I started out with the Biggest Loser DVD that I did a week or so ago, then I switched to a Walk Away The Pounds, then I switched to our little stairway.  I used one step to go up and down.  Then I came in and started some push ups.  Nothing that I listed above got me to my Cowboy Fit Zone!  So I counted all of this as a warm up and headed outside.  I walked as fast as I could and even broke into a "kind-of" jog for about a half of a block.  When I reached what I thought would have been a half-way point, I headed back.  Again, for good measure, took about a half of a block to do a little jog.  I walked in, with a bitter-sweet feeling.  Accomplished, but disappointing. Did I reach my HR goal?  I honestly have not a clue.  I didn't figure out how to get the back light on my watch to work.  The whole time I was working, I heard the beep that signals when I am above or below my target HR.  So I imagine that I was above and below all throughout the walk.  I know that I was sweating pretty good, plus it was a little chilly, which felt good.

I am contemplating going in to work early tomorrow to use the ancient treadmill there so I can be certain that I am working out in the target HR zone.  But, my goal right now is that if I cannot get in every-other-day workouts, then at least I get in 3 workouts a week.  I am on track.  But, am I being too hard on myself?

I have blogged before about being disappointed.  Really, I am not a hard guy to satisfy.  I have mellowed out quite a bit since being married.  That is probably a good thing.  But when you're struggling with money.  Feels like you owe money here and there. Don't know how you're going to get your car repaired.  Trying to show upper management at work that you're worth something.  Health issues at home with the kiddos.  Not being able to go buy a certain food you want to eat better.  All of that stuff adds up.

Both of my brothers told me about being hard on myself as well as being resilient.  I am just venting, but it would be nice to have a dinner table to eat dinner with my family, instead of on the couch.  It would be nice to have some healthy food supply.  All we wanted to do tonight was be able to get in a good workout.  I like walking outside as much as the next guy.  Heck, I prefer being outside.  Them videos are helpful, but I can only stand so much pain in my hips.  Maybe I was meant to go outside?

But I did it.  I may be disappointed about a few things, but I am definitely comfortable saying that I used to just figure "I'll do it tomorrow" since it didn't work out the way I wanted it to.  It may not have been in my zone that I like, but I'll take getting out and moving around, over procrastination.  Eventually, enough procrastinating will take 1 week and turn it into 3 years.  Or even more!

So, I am a little concerned about my HR monitor.  We'll have to see how it works the next workout.  But I reckon I can tell ya'll a little something that actually made my week.

I posted about the total inches lost so far... well, this workout tonight and on Monday, I had to tighten my chest strap and go in an extra notch on my belt.  Eh?  That is some good stuff!

My wife even told me, when we were getting into a cuddly spot, that my chest was too hard. Ha ha.  That is a good thing.  Hopefully that means my "chesticles" are getting bigger the right way??? :)  So, back to the Heart Rating title.  If you want it bad enough your heart, you'll find ways to make things work.

What is YOUR Heart Rating?

Game of Adjustments

Well, tonight, I got a few different things to share with ya'll.  I have been running on little energy.  I've felt defeated/deflated.  It's been a tough week or so.  We were still able to make time for my workouts.  We were still able to celebrate my wife's birthday weekend.  Our son does not have any mushy spots on his skull from his 2 concussions.  Although we go in to the doc tomorrow for a surgical consult for tubes in our little girl's ears, she is surprisingly happy!  I love that smile.  So you could say we've had a rough and tough week.  Or you could not say that.  But as I watch Michigan fail to make adjustments, I thought to myself, "how do they expect to win if they are only playing not to lose?"

What do I mean?  Well, as I have said before, I love hoops.  Well, other than bad attitudes and chest slapping, I enjoy a good hard fought war, by respectful athletes/ball players.  When I refer to the adjustments, I thought that the coach should have called a time out here or there to assist in slowing down the momentum that Louisville was building up.  I thought they could've used a couple of adjustments, to improve their chances of success.  In my game.  In my journey, I have a coach.  I have a mentor. I have a strong tribe in my corner.  But the overall game plan and adjustments are crucial in me staying focused on my goals.  Crucial to me decreasing my body fat percentage.  Crucial in my continuing learning and knowledge of nutrition.  Crucial to my preparing for physical activity as an athlete.

Today was the perfect example.  I was not so hot on the water intake.  I didn't hit my goal for calorie intake, nor am I on a strict diet.  I try to eat a bigger breakfast.  But I do not want to take food away from my family.  I know that not missing meals is crucial at this point in what I'm trying to do here.  We are broke.  We will likely be overdrawn when we get paid this week.  Matter of fact, when we get paid, I will not have a 80 hour check, so we will be short anyhow.  right about now, I'm feeling like we are spending too much money on food.  Not dining out, but just food in general.  It seems that when you're broke, everything sounds good.  You drive by here, you hear someone say that... it all sounds wonderful!  But, when I'm sitting there, I feel selfish about me trying to eat this stuff for good calories, but I wonder what we're going to do the next shopping trip.  What can we afford. It feels like you mush choose 2 out of 3: time, health, money, when you're planning your menu for the week.

I bring this up because, whether it's about fitness success, your job/career, money, building a strong relationship (with family, siblings or your children), you have to make adjustments.  If you do the same thing over and over, but expect different results... you're going to drive yourself crazy.  You'll end up drowning.  Stay afloat.  Make the adjustments that will help you achieve success. For right now, we just keep getting the things we can afford and getting the things that we need.  Everything else is extra.  Fixing the car, payments, past due, etc...

This week, we set new goals and focus on the first ones as well.  I can't change that I didn't get a full 80 last period.  I can change what I get this period.  I can't change the calories I didn't get today.  Money pending, I can change the calories I get tomorrow, or this week.  You do what you can and you keep on keepin on.  Right?

Anyhow, I need a drum roll.  So tonight Katie says, "I want to measure you!"
It has been 9 days since my last measurement.  Last time I lost 13 inches, all in my chest and shoulders.
Tonight, in other areas (hips, belly, abs upper and lower, upper thigh, upper arm and neck).

I lost another 8.5 inches.
So that means since I've started this, I've lost about 22 inches!

That is with a fudged diet that is not set, just trying to learn how to read labels and calorie intake.

In the past week, I've needed a win.  It's been tough.  Tonight on my Facebook, my wife and my niece both laid it out and thanked me for teaching them lessons and being inspiration!  This weekend, both of my younger brothers flat out told me how awesome they think I am (finally we agree on something!)

Holy cow.  They must have been feeling the spirit in them to come out ans say something, but to those 4 people, thank you very much.  You've helped keep my fire burning.  I am especially proud of my wife tonight.  Dropped right down on the floor and cranked out 10 push ups, 10 crunches and 25 squats, then walked 3 miles with a video.  We didn't even plan it.  It just happened.  And she says I'm her inspiration???

I love you Katie.  I love that you are such a loving mother and wife.  Thank you for showing me why I want to make this lifestyle change, through the struggles and success.

Patience Grasshopper

Geez.  This week has been something else.  I did not do my food journal at all.  Some days, I nailed my water down, others, not so much.  I could write out a list of everything that slowed me down and had me thinking the old ways were coming back, but that wouldn't help.  My little boy did get 2 concussions in less than 48 hours though.  That was scary.  A couple of hard falls on the forehead and the back of his head where it meets up with the neck. But we're all go now.  Poor kid.

My little girl is starting to crawl all over!  She is wicked fast too.  It's cute because she is so petite.  Quick hands on that little bugger too.

All of this stuff this week, going on, really, really, really made it hard to make time for workouts, eating, working, everyday life.  I feel like we should be in a well oiled routine.  But I forget, it's only been a few weeks.  We'll get there.  We just have to keep communication open.

Along with the doubts of my scheduling, cooking, prepping, etc... I've been physically sore.  Coach has even told me, "Man, I can not even begin to imagine how it's going to feel, starting your journey at 460 lbs!!!"  He knows that maybe I cannot do everything (right now) that he is assigning for homework. I've done damn good at modifying the push ups and crunches. I pump out the squats in 3 set of 10.  But sometimes, I don't get to them until 11 in the morning, then I start to consider dumping them at night.  It is frustrating me.  Katie has been on my rear-end though, noticing if I am slumping off.  Whip-cracker, that gal is. But, it's needed on some nights, I'm not going to lie about it.

So, all in all tho, with everything going on, this week is wrapping up.  The homework is to work out 3x a week.  I've been working out every-other-day. So that means that some weeks I get in 4 workouts.  I'm happy about that.  I did take one day off from the strength conditioning due to a massive chafing.  We went and bought some compression shorts and I was working out the next day.  That burned!!!!  But, I'm healed up.

Tonight while trying to do a modified version of the crunches, I was laying on the floor, on my back.  I had Katie stand on my hands, above my head.  I was then going to crank out some straight leg lifts.  Did pretty good for the first 6 or 7.  Then my back started playing around on me.  Not sure what it is, but I was determined to get the rest of the crunches done.  So I hopped my butt onto our little safe and did some make-shift Cowboy Crunches to finish them off.

Katie and I talked about how I was feeling.  We talked about my approach to my daily routines of strength conditioning.  I told her that I don't feel like there is anything that Coach has assigned that I cannot do.  If I cannot do it, I modify it and push through it.  She saw it differently, telling me that if I'm giving 100%, then if I only get 28 our of 35 push ups, keep trying until my muscles fail, that is strength conditioning in itself.  I don't have to be hard on myself if I am not getting the numbers.  The only number that is more important than completion is the Cowboy Effort!  If I can say that I could have done better, then I have not done enough.  If I can look back and say I gave it my all, that is the Cowboy Way.

So, I am starting this motivation tracker this week.  I track my motivation in the following areas: Focus on Goals, Food, Water, HR, Positive Attitude. At the end of the day I add up my scores and give myself a grade, based on the results of the sum.  At the end of the week, same thing.  So if I see myself in the "OK" category, then I know I need to step it up!  So this will be interesting.

I did tell you that I would put some stuff in here about the conference call we had on Friday night.  It went great!  It was fun.  There were about 30 people on all listening to him and then we'd answer questions that he asked.  It was more of a thing where if we had questions about something we didn't think we were doing correctly, or if we'd never worked out before, or never used a HR watch/monitor before, then he was there for guidance.  We were all able to hear it right from his mouth, rather than watch a homework video.  He asked us all for feedback on his website.  How would we like to see it laid out, etc...?  There were a couple of things that I realized I took for granted.  Some of the questions that were asked, cleared some things up for me.  I've lifted weight regularly.  I believe that I know a good healthy, safe way to lift weights.  It can be dangerous.  I've been on the ball court, I've hiked around the mountains in Montana.  I've swam in lakes and rivers.  I rode lots of bikes and played baseball and football.  So, I know my balance.  Right off of the starting line of the journey, this is all stuff that I can incorporate into my workouts for my HR and rebuilding strength.

Before the conference call, I thought I'd be stuck doing just a strong HR cardio workout on the treadmill.  Turns out, as long as I'm moving doing squats, arm circles, jumping jacks, jumping in place, jump rope, swimming, shooting hoops, lifting weights or on an exercise bike, it does not matter what i'm doing, as long as I'm in my Cowboy Fit zone.  Granted, lifting weights is a great way to get your muscles built up and toned too.  Cardio is great for your heart! But, for blasting fat, the Cowboy Fit Zone is where you want to be.  Every minute I'm in there, it's better than sitting my butt on the couch.

I love my wife and my children.  I love my siblings.  I love my cousins. I love my aunts and uncles.  I love my friends.  Thank you all for the support.  Plus, I was needing some inspiration for tonight's blog.  When I logged in, turns out my other bro figured out how to leave a comment on here!  Maybe he is not such a hill-billy after all? :p

Focus.  We'll get there.  This is for us.  Not just for me.  Thank God my boy is ok.  Thank God for my beautiful wife.  Thank God for my little daughter's progressing health and beautiful smiles.  What a great week of trials and success.  I'm sure we'll need to remember this week as the other times come.  Attitude is a little thing that can make a BIG difference.

Birthday for my Wife

I just wanted to let everyone that was expecting a blog tonight, I'm sorry.  I do have some things I'd like to share about the conference call with the Coach, last night.  But for tonight...

Happy Birthday to my wife, Katie!!!!

So, I'm going to spend some with my family.  I'll be on tomorrow for sure.  Thank you all for viewing and sharing this.  If you are inspired, I am truly honored that you are following my story.  I can tell you that this has been a tough stretch of 3 days.  Everything has been tough.  Although I did get full time in my Cowboy Fit Zone yesterday, and I workout again tomorrow.  But, the difference is, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's workout!!!!!  So, one of my goals is that I enjoy fitness and nutrition.  The fact that I'm looking forward to it, well now.... I'll take that feeling good, well, um... ANY DAY!

Good night ya'll.

Conference Call with the Coach

Right now!  Kinda nervous.  But excited.  I'll follow up with ya'll.

Got Push-ups?

Well, as I sit here, sore, reflecting on how this 25 day challenge has made me realize just how out of shape I am, from where I used to be, I am forever grateful for my wife!  Today could have been an ugly day.  Trying to get all of this stuff lined up and make it part of our everyday life.  We needed to slow down today and put things in perspective.  It's not going to happen over night. We needed to hear how the other one is taking it in.  What they see. It is just as much mental as it is a commitment to going on the walks. Working out. Morning push-ups, squats and cowboy crunches, then the night push-ups, squats and cowboy crunches.  Shoot, today, I did my morning strength rebuilding in a room at my work.  It's located by a couple of offices that are used for guests that come to visit for a week from another site, or other things.  This room in particular is used as a ping pong room and an office chair graveyard.  But, sore I am.  But the soreness does not even measure the appreciation I have for my wife.  It is a lot to take on and ad to what seems like an already busy life between kids, daycare, work, doctors, etc...  But communication is key, to one self as well, to your spouse.

So, back to how things are going since I mentioned that I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.  Well, tonight, right before my 35+35+35 nightly strengths, Katie and I listened to the Shark Tank podcast.  It is available to listen to.  But I was just wanting to find out what Coach Cowboy was up to.  I get emails from him.  He shoots me inspirational messages and asks if I have questions.  Tomorrow I have a conference call with other clients that get to drill him with questions.  But tonight I was truly astonished.  Heck, I teared up some.  Katie always likes to see her man shed a couple drops.

In the podcast/interview, he is about 20 minutes in, talking about his path and his passion and why he wants to do what he does.  He flat out says that nobody ever really gets what he is about. They all think he is out there to make money.  At first, 20 years ago, maybe.  He got his college paid for by an invention that he sold.  Didn't strike it rich, but did fine.  Free education is always good.  But now, this is different.  I didn't realize that he really is invested in me.  He is wanting to help change my lifestyle.

BOOM!  The bomb drops.  He says, "I'd like to talk about my passion real quick.  I got a guy from Utah who reached out to me the night my episode of Shark Tank aired....."   What?!  Katie knew it right away.  She was giddy.  "He's going to talk about you!!!!"  No way.  I didn't believe what I'd just heard.  Coach goes on.  He says, "He told me about his back and hurting.  He told me that he'd reached out to some of the celebrity trainers and exercise gurus.  They didn't even give him a "no."  They just flat out never replied to his messages.  So he told me, "If you're not interested in pointing me in the right direction, with me being willing to give you my success story to help sell your DVDs, then please, at least reply to let me know that you've read my message."  He then went on in the interview to discuss about how this is motivation and inspiration that people all across America need.  If you're trying to shed 40 pounds and think "Oh I can't do it!!", well then explain to me how this guy "Nick" from Utah is swallowing his pride and asking for some help at a critical point in his life, being Type II Diabetic, 460 lbs and agreeing with a word of mouth that he's going to Cowboy Up and follow my lead...."

I just wanted to share with ya'll that I am sold on the passion alone.  I have dropped 13.5 inches.  I am going in to be weighed on this Thursday, which I'll post the result in a blog.  Frankly, tonight, I don't care what I weigh.  I know that I am learning.  I know it b/'c I am talking about it with other people.  I feel something different this time around.  The yo-yo dieting and starvation does not work.  Really, I've tried.  It sucks.  And you know what really sucks? Living the rest of your High School days, and going to your brothers' football and basketball games without your dad.  Or your mom.  You constantly wonder if what you're trying to do is enough for them.  Well, I know that I don't want to live like this.  I don't want to sit here, knowing that anything can happen to anyone.

You are all probably thinking, "Well, geez, Nick is right.  All of our days are limited.  Everyone's."  But that is not what I'm talking about.  Yes it sucks losing your parents.  My wife never met either one of them.  My kids never met them.  But when I say anything can happen to anyone... I am talking about me being a simple guy from Montana.  I may not be the most shy or the most outgoing.  Some of you might cringe when you hear that I weigh 460 lbs.  I don't even like hearing the number.  But I can tell you this.  I'm sore today and I'll be sore tomorrow.  It's a good reminder that I am still alive, doing something about it. Striving to make better choices.

If you would like, here is the web address to the podcast from the Shark Tank.  My blog address will be showing up there in the "notes" section soon from what it sounds like: http://www.sharktankpodcast.net/stpi-006-ryan-the-cowboy-ehmann-thats-what-im-talking-about/

Staying On Schedule

Today was tough.  I say was because the only thing left to do is blog, fill my CPAP machine with water, read my goals and then go to sleep.  It still feels like a lot to do.  If feels like a lot since I am focusing on how much sleep I will get, knowing I will be getting up to do the same thing tomorrow. Work, family, eating, working out, very overwhelmed right now.

I worked a later shift at work today, putting me behind on my schedule.  Well, that is not all true.  I really don't have a set schedule for working out, other than every-other-day.  But, we didn't get home until 830pm.  I hadn't eaten dinner and I hadn't even started my warm up.  Heck, we still had to give the kiddos their nightly routine of medicine, diapers and bedtime prep.  We have to work early tomorrow, so the kiddos didn't get a whole lot of time time mommy or daddy tonight.  You know, the good times.  Tickling, hot-wheels cars, wrestling, not even reading.  But they were tired too.  So, as I get the hang of this and it is part of my lifestyle change, I believe and it is a goal of mine to have a solid work out schedule and time of day to work out.  Where I don't feel like I have to squeeze it in.  I've heard a.m. workouts are awesome.  I used to lift weights in the mornings.  Just got to get my sleeping butt out of the bed.

So, the 45 minutes in the Cowboy Fit Zone is done today. I did not get a chance to go to the gym, but I did get my wife to find a good DVD for me to use.  It was "Weeks 1-6 of The Biggest Loser Exercises", taught by Bob Harper and past contestants in his class.  Funny because I've actually tried reaching out to Bob Harper on Facebook, introducing myself, letting him know about this blog and what my goals are.  I have not heard anything back.  It is just a fan page after-all.  The guy gets results out of his clients, no lying there.

A little more fire in my workout tonight after memories of not being called back from The Biggest Loser staff. We went to a casting call here in SLC a few seasons back, of The Biggest Loser.  I didn't even receive an email to say "We didn't pick you...", well, that just added more feelings of not being selected for softball teams, basketball teams, etc... By this point in my life, when I went to the casting call, I was already married to Katie.  We already had our son.  We went and stood in the cold at 4am for 2 hours, in a line of about 400+ people, sitting on wet cement stairs.  All for about 15 minutes in a group-interview where I was allowed to give short answers to general questions.  The application itself took a couple of hours. All of that for 15 minutes?  Yeah, lame.

But, when I was not selected, it just reminded me of the things I'd missed out on before. Things that my size has prevented me from. Heck, nobody in my family ever tried "setting" me up with someone.  Were they embarrassed   That does a number on your confidence.  But, it is not their job to set me up.  Honestly, everything happens for a reason.  I say that a lot to my wife because I would not have ever moved back down to Utah.  That means that I would never have met her.  I'll tell you, my life has changed for the better, just having her by my side.  I've also settled down drastically since being married ;)  No more binge drinking (may have been fun at the time), but now it really is about calories and the quality of life I want with my family.  But to set the record straight, it wasn't all of the time.  I knew what I liked.  If I felt like having more than a few, I did.  Flat out. But also, with the beer and whiskey, came the stress of not having money, not liking my job, not feeling desirable, all added to not knowing what I was doing to my body.  Sad story. Not that I dwell on it a lot, but at the time, they were real and valid feelings.  By the way, I did not want my brothers or sister to set me up... they were all in Jr. High or High School.  That would just have been wrong. Ew.

So, on the upside, I received an email from Coach Cowboy today.  The 25+25+30+25 has now been changed. Starting tomorrow, I do 35 push ups 35 crunches and 35 squats in the morning, then repeat before bed.  Every other day I am working out 45 minutes in the Cowboy Fit Zone.  Plus, HOORAY for me, I usually only get in 10 girly push ups before I take a short breather, tonight, after doing my workout, I got to 13!  Yay!  I'll take any accomplishment I can get.

Plus, supper on the run, I am very grateful for Subways 6" sammiches.  Wheat bread turkey with extra veggies.  Nice.  Today I almost substituted my lunch with a slice of pizza from Costco.  Yeah... um...  NO!  I looked it up: 700 calories for one stinking slice!  I used to do that.  I used to eat a half a pizza to myself.  Truthfully, one of the managers at Pizza Hut in my hometown put me on the VIP list.  I got discounts.  I could have chosen the salad bar.  I had the power of choice.  I still do. But that would be the only thing I'd eat all day.  I had to save room for the Mountain Dew and beer (not together).  But, feeling good that my first choice was to look it up first.  In the past, I would eat it, limit it to one, then later find out the calories. Then the guilt would set in.  So, another accomplishment.

I was going to call in to be part of a conference call tonight to speak to Ryan "Cowboy" Ehmann.  He put on Facebook that anyone could call and ask questions specifically directed towards his program.  But I was busy working out, since  my schedule was all out of whack today.  So if anyone sees him, tell him that he needs to call me. ;)

Also, for the record.  I have been part of sports.  I just miss it.  Our Missoula, Montana City League Recreation 5 on 5 Men's Basketball Team a few years back won the championship.  I was part of that team.  I did not score a lot of points, but I did play some tough D on a couple of big guys.  I burned some calories. I think I blocked 1 shot, got some boards and even air-balled a deep 3 when I was wide open.  Hey, my teammates did not pass me the ball a lot.  Also, there was one game in particular where I ran the whole game (not by choice, we were short a couple bodies, so we had no subs).  But it was awesome.  I even got a shirt that said we were the champs.  Sad tho, it never fit me.  But I hung it in my closet with pride.

Carpe Diem!